


In the future, things will be different

by robron_til_the_end



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: M/M, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 16:03:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16726551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robron_til_the_end/pseuds/robron_til_the_end
Summary: Aaron tried to kill himself when he was 18. While unconscious, he goes through what his life may look like in the future, if he fights for the life he deserves.





	In the future, things will be different

Aaron woke up, feeling groggy and disorientated, like he’d been sleeping for ages, looking around. He was in the front seat of a car, and peering through the window he could see that he was in the garage. Oh. It hadn’t worked then. Fuck it. He tried switching the engine on but nothing doing. The car didn’t even twitch and he cursed at the thing before getting out and slamming the door shut with more force than he perhaps should have.

Incredibly frustrated, Aaron left the garage and then paused. It looked to be early morning, everything quiet and the first tinges of the sun touching the village. How long had he been asleep for? Something felt wrong. Surely he couldn’t have been in the garage overnight, someone would have found him?

Aaron walked in the opposite direction of Smithy cottage and he didn’t know why. Did he just not want to face Paddy? After everything getting a well intentioned lecture about being gay, something Paddy wouldn’t have a clue about was not something he fancied. It wasn’t like he had anything to do or anything else to lose, so he just followed his feet until he stood in front of a drive that led to The Mill cottage.

There were two cars outside that he didn’t remember seeing in the village before. One of them in particular looked like Aaron could have a lot of fun with it, so carefully, he approached the house, wondering if the keys were by the door. It’s not like he had anything else to lose. What was a bit of carjacking on top of everything else?  
He tried the door, couldn’t have explained why, and he found it open. Carefully, quietly, he went into the house, hearing a riot of noise from the kitchen. The owners were obviously too busy to pay him much attention, but there weren’t any car keys within sight.

“Aaron!” He froze for a second, then poked his head around the door frame, thinking he’d have to front this out. He’d never seen the interior of the Mill before and it looked like three different designers had had some kind of argument, the house bearing the brunt of it. Then his jaw hung open, seeing something he had not expected in a million years. He was looking at… himself? How the hell was that possible? Had he taken something? Was he high and seeing things? The Aaron he was looking at was sitting at the kitchen table, spoon feeding a small child and grinning while doing it. Aaron watched his mirror self making faces at the child and seeming like he’d never been happier. He looked older, Mid twenties maybe? A bit older than that? Aaron wasn’t sure of anything apart from the fact he was having some wildly psychotic dream.

A wedding ring. That did catch Aaron’s attention. Had he managed to stay in the closet for this long? Managed to construct a lie of a life, just so he didn’t have to come out? Aaron watched as someone came down the stairs. A teenage blonde girl who looked like she’d been woken up too early.

“Got everything?” Aaron asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” she said, grabbing a piece of toast from the table.

“Liv!” Aaron said. “Good luck today.” She smiled at her brother before racing out the door, coming close enough to touch the Aaron stood watching this alarming scene in front of him. Liv. That’s his sister. His baby sister who was what, 7 or 8? How could she be a teenager? What the hell was happening?

“Enjoying the view?”

“Jesus!!” Aaron snapped, seeing Paddy to his right. “What are you doing here? What the hell is going on?!”

“Figured it out yet?” Paddy asked. Aaron glared at him. “It’s you, this is your future.” Aaron scoffed. “If you want to fight for it.”

“What are you on about?” Aaron asked, trying to hold onto calmness, very aware that a man who looked an awful lot like himself was still feeding a baby, oblivious to Aaron and Paddy’s presence as if they were invisible. Probably because they were. This was weird. “Last thing I knew, I was…”

“In the garage,” Paddy said sadly. “I know. Adam and Chas found you and took you to hospital.”

“So am I…?”

“Not yet,” Paddy said. “We don’t know if you’re going to make it.”

“Should have left me in there,” Aaron grumbled. “This? It’s a fantasy! What kind of life could I possibly have?! Pretending all the time?!” Aaron could feel his temper getting the better of him and he breathed in and out slowly to calm down. “I’ve got a wedding ring on here. Have I married some poor girl just to keep the lie going?”

“Not exactly.”

Aaron watched, torn between irritation and curiosity about what he’d see when he heard footsteps down the stairs. A blond man wearing jeans, shirt and a jacket came into the kitchen, smiling at Aaron and the kid. The blond kissed the top of the kids head, then Aaron’s cheek absently before going into the kitchen for coffee. It was easy, a habit, like they did it every day of their lives.

Aaron looked at Paddy in confusion. “What?”

“I don’t think much of your taste,” Paddy said with a smile. “But, yeah.”

“I’m… with… him?” Aaron asked, almost thunderstruck. “Why?”

“You’re perfect for each other,” Paddy said. “He’s crazily in love with you.”

“But..” Aaron shook his head. “This is impossible!”

“No,” Paddy said. “It’s very very possible.” Aaron didn’t know what to say but the other Aaron (future Aaron?) was talking, so he stopped shaking his head to listen.

“Rob, can’t you sack off work today?” Aaron asked, picking the baby up who‘s eyes flicked between the two men, listening to their voices.

“No,” Robert said with a grin. “Sorry. Got a meeting with Nicola. Should be done by lunchtime though, if you want the afternoon together?”

“Yeah,” Aaron said, voice soft. “Sounds good. Come here.” Aaron kissed him gently on the mouth, ignoring the baby until he started to demand attention.

“Come here mischief!” Robert said, taking the baby out of Aaron’s arms. “Want to spend an afternoon on a picnic with your daddies? Sound good?”

“Like he knows,” Aaron said affectionately.

“Oh, he knows,” Robert said. “He’s clever, aren’t you Seb?” Aaron smiled at him, then Robert’s phone rang. “I should go,” Robert said.

“Yeah, yeah,” Aaron said.

“Aren’t you going to work?” Robert asked.

“That’s what I’ve got Ellis for,” Aaron said with a smile. “Go. I’ll take him round to mums, let her have a fuss over him this morning.” Aaron kissed Robert goodbye, and within minutes, they’d all trooped out of the house.

Aaron who’d been watching this almost fell onto the sofa, feeling winded and his mind reeling. “This is crazy.”

“A little,” Paddy said.

“So you’re telling me… in ten years, I’ll be married and have a house, and a baby?”

“Something like that,” Paddy said. “You can be happy, Aaron. If you want to be, you just have to try for it. Stop fighting who you are.”

“This is impossible,” Aaron said, shaking his head. “How could I even marry a man in the first place?”

“It becomes legal,” Paddy said softly. “The world catches up. Follow yourself around today. See if there’s anything worth living for.”

Aaron paused for a moment before scowling. “You’re off your head.”

“Are you doing anything else right now?” Paddy asked, clapping Aaron on the shoulder before getting up and disappearing. Literally disappearing, and Aaron swallowed thickly. He looked around the empty house and felt almost overwhelmed. Was this even possible?

Aaron shook his head and walked out of the Mill, but instead of being outside, he was somehow in the pub, his mum behind the bar. Aaron watched himself put Seb on the bar, the baby looking at Chas with a smile, arms out. Chas picked him up and gave him a cuddle, Aaron smiling at them both.

“How are you and Robert?” Chas asked. Watching on, Aaron felt a sudden fear. No one could know about him being gay, before logic caught up with him. If he was married and living with a man, his mother would know about him, obviously. That didn’t make it feel any more comfortable, though.

“Good,” Aaron said, playing with Seb’s teddy, making him giggle. “Actually… really good.” Aaron smiled, and the Aaron in the corner watching on couldn’t believe it. He’d never seen himself look that happy. Didn’t even know it was possible for him to feel that way.

“The honeymoon period not worn off yet?” Chas asked.

“No,” Aaron said. “God, I love him so much. And him,” he nodded at Seb, ruffling his hair. “Liv’s doing good too. It’s all… yeah.”

“So… thought of more kids?” Chas asked, clearly prying. “I want to be a grandma again.”

“Ever heard the phrase it’s none of your business?” Aaron asked, but the grin gave him away. 

“Oh!!” Chas said. “You are!!”

“We’re thinking about it,” Aaron said. “Very carefully, so don’t start buying gifts or anything.”

“That’s great!” Chas said.

“Well… we’ve got all that extra room in the Mill,” Aaron said with a shrug. “Feels a shame to waste it.” Chas smiled at him, then pulled him into a hug. 

Aaron almost couldn’t believe it, him and his mum didn’t get on at all. So this? It didn’t make any sense. Time could change some things, sure, but everything? His life looked completely different. Tortured closeted teenager to happy family man? It didn’t make any sense.

“Shouldn’t you be at work?” Chas asked.

“Nah,” Aaron said. “That’s the benefit of being the boss. We’re skiving off this afternoon for a picnic.”

“I have to stop hanging out with you,” Chas said. “You make me feel so miserable about the pathetic state of my life, when you’ve got all of yours sorted out.” 

Aaron grinned. “I’m finally happy, mum,” he said. “I’m going to take the day off because I want to. So does Robert.”

“I’m so happy for you,” Chas said with a grin. “Come here wriggle monster!! Lets see if we can give you some sweets your daddies will hate me for.” Aaron grinned, before helping himself to a pint, Aaron watching on. He didn’t get on with his mother. They tried, but too much had happened and they never seemed to see eye to eye. So this? Could they really get past all their history? Or was this some kind of fever dream while he was in hospital? Aaron couldn’t take this, it was a fantasy. Even if it was possible for his future, surely not in… eight years? No.

Aaron left the pub. He didn’t need to see his future self like this. He opened the door of the Woolpack, and instead of going outside, he found himself in a… shack? An outbuilding of some kind, paperwork on every surface. Aaron watched as the door was flung open and watched himself come in, Seb in one arm, a file of paperwork in the other. Aaron dropped the file on the desk, then went to the safe, going to the cash box. Was he stealing? Found an easy mark, then gone for the money? Aaron counted out a hundred quid, left a quick note in the box, then locked it back in the safe.

A man came into the cabin, young, wearing a hi vis jacket and a smile on his face. “Aaron!”

“I’m not staying, Ellis,” Aaron said shortly. “This is for your overtime today, I’m paying extra, okay?”

“Oh, come on, I need help stripping the engine out there. An extra pair of hands will come in useful.”

“Sorry, can’t do it,” Aaron said shortly. “I’m spending the afternoon with Robert and this monster.” Ellis gave Seb a tired smile.

“Guess I’m getting back to work then,” he said giving Seb a head ruffle which made the boy blink in confusion, then Aaron laugh. “It’s all very well when you’re the boss.” Aaron gave him a glare, one that the Aaron watching recognised as deeply familiar and Ellis just left the cabin without another word.

“There,” Aaron told Seb. “Work sorted for the day. Lets find your daddy then, eh?”

The next thing Aaron knew, he was watching himself and Robert sprawled on a blanket on the village green, the cricket pavilion as a backdrop, Seb crawling on the grass as they mostly ignored him. “Nicola okay with you sacking work off for the day?” Aaron asked.

“She doesn’t even notice these days,” Robert said. “Oh, it doesn’t matter anyway. I miss you. I don’t think we spend enough time together.”

“The whole village would argue about that,” Aaron said with a smile. Aaron looked at Robert, eyes soft and leaned forward for a lingering gentle kiss, Robert’s arms coming around Aaron’s body and pulling him closer.

Aaron couldn’t believe this. He was letting himself be pulled on top of another man in broad daylight in the middle of the village? How did he change so much? Just watching it made him feel afraid of what could happen, of the people who could see. Never mind the fact that Seb was crawling away from them, using his parents distraction to probably cause as much mayhem as he could.

“Oi!” They all looked around to see Marlon walking towards them.

“Problem?” Robert asked, obviously annoyed at being interrupted.

“You’ve got twice the trouble,” Marlon said, pointing towards Seb. Who was determinedly walking away from them as fast as his little legs could manage. Robert raced up and ran towards him, a beaming smile on his face as he scooped Seb up.

“Who told you you could walk, eh?” Robert said, kissing his head. “Oh, you clever boy!”

“We need to put a stair gate up,” Aaron said, grinning too. “Now he’s found his feet.”

“Oh, that’s it, isn’t it?” Robert said. “No end of trouble now.” Seb grinned broadly at Aaron and he laughed at the boy.

“You’re going to be just like Robert, you are,” Aaron said.

“What, charming and intelligent?” Robert asked.

“No, a nightmare and a pain in the arse,” Aaron joked, Robert looking like that was a big compliment for some reason.

“Do you two have to put on a show?” Marlon asked. “My living room window is right there.” 

Aaron shrugged. “Pull the curtains then.”

“At least it’s not Vic with whichever man she’s dating this week,” Robert said. “How is she?”

“I think she’s okay,” Marlon said seriously. “She’s working.” Robert nodded.

“Think she’d appreciate seeing him?” Robert asked, looking at Seb.

“I think she’d love that,” Marlon said with a nod. Robert put Seb down on the blanket, and he considered for a moment before pulling himself up onto his feet, then walking away from them, all confidence and Aaron grinned.

“Time for another one then,” Aaron said.

“I’m not arguing,” Robert said, pulling Aaron into another kiss. The happiness was almost visible between the two of them, it was also sickening. 

Aaron turned around, and suddenly he was in a hospital room, looking at himself attached to hospital machines, a breathing tube, everything he’d expect. He also looked normal again, his eighteen year old self. Paddy sat next to him on the cheap plastic chairs, both watching Aaron’s unconscious form.

“This is where I ended up?” Aaron asked. “After the garage?”

“Yes,” Paddy said. “We’ve been waiting for you for a while to wake up but we’re not getting any news.”

Aaron paused, thinking. “Everything I just saw… is it true?”

“It could be,” Paddy said. “I’m not going to pretend it’s easy, you have to fight and you have some dark times coming. But there is happiness too, if you want it.”

“It doesn’t seem real,” Aaron said. “I’m so different.”

“Yes,” Paddy said. “And we’re so proud of you, the man you become.”

“But… I could die now?” Aaron asked, looking at himself in the bed.

“Yes,” Paddy said honestly. “I’m here, your mum’s here, Adam’s here, Cain is, your whole family is waiting for you to wake up. You’ve got so many people who love you.”

“Sometimes it doesn’t feel like that,” Aaron said darkly.

“I know,” Paddy said. “We’re all here when you want to talk. We’re here to listen.” Aaron forced a smile at him.

“So... what next?”

“What next is up to you,” Paddy said. “Keep fighting.” He clapped Aaron on the shoulder and then left, leaving Aaron feeling bewildered and alone, looking at his comatose self. Could this be in his future? Could he be that happy?

* * *

Aaron woke up, feeling disorientated, groggy and like he’d taken several missteps. He knew he was in a hospital bed, but that wasn’t what made him feel so strange. He’d had some kind of dream or premonition, or something when he was unconscious. He couldn’t remember the details, he couldn’t remember much at all, except the overwhelming feeling of… happy. That’s what he felt. Loved and happiness flowing through him. How was that even a thing that could happen?

Paddy came in, looking at Aaron sadly but still here. “Are you ready to talk?” Aaron supposed he better, now that he was here.

**Author's Note:**

> This is meant to be something that could slip in to canon, so I haven't dealt with the aftermath of Aaron's suicide attempt because I don't really want to touch that! Hope you enjoyed and thanks for reading!


End file.
